Monday, May 11, 2009
Eh. I'm in a weird mood.
Today was decent. I got to see Dakota. =] That's almost the only reason school is tolerable. In Christian Sexuality, however, (shudder) Mrs. Bovie was bluntly staring at me the WHOLE time. We were talking about sexual assault. She still wants me to press charges against Travis for what happened on New Years Eve, but it's not like she thinks it is. If only Aubrey didn't have such a big mouth that likes to stretch the truth. I can't trust her with anything. Gah. Whatever, it's nothing new.
Sorry for my ramble.... I'm just annoyed. I have cramps and I'm grouchy. PlusI have a ton of homework that I still haven't done. Okay, my minute of pessimism is over.
Tomorrow will be fun. I'm hanging out with Dakota after school; I'm surprised my parents are actually letting me. We're going to walk around until his baseball practice at 5. We're going to a fight at "The Spot", where ever the hell that is. This kid named Max, who (not exagerating) every kid in school despises, is fighting a kid named Ryan. I'm not really the type of person who likes violence, but... I don't know. I'm going anyways. If I get uncomfortable I'll just leave. Everyone expects Max to get beaten senseless. Actually, everyone expects Max to chicken out and either make an excuse not to fight or not show up at all. No matter what, it has been universally decided that the boys in my school are fed up with his dickish behavior and are going to jump him no matter what, first chance they get.
Honestly it makes me sad. The world has too much hate. I only tolerate it because, well... If I didn't, I'd go insane. I'd kill myself. There's good in the world, I know, but I've seen so much of the negative... It can be hard to focus on the postive things in the universe. Not only do I notice, I absorb it. I let it affect me. It eats away at my insides and makes me cry while I lay in bed at night. Either I'm overly sensitive to it, which makes me absolutely crazy. Or I have to be completely indifferent. Then I'm called an insensitive cold bitch. It's hard to find middle ground. I feel bad for complaining so much. It's just hard to deal with. It hurts, taking on the negative emotions in the world. I cry. And I hate it.
Sorry, again, for my complaining and pessimism. I just... I don't really know. I'm glad I have Dakota. He's such an optimist, and he's such an amazing person... He keeps me sane and helps me see the good in human beings.
Posted by Alex at 6:36 PM