Thursday, November 12, 2009
The world is a really sad place. It is just damn sad.
My uncle Mike is a guitar prodigy. He's absolutely amazing... And that is all he has in his life. He is 55 and alone. And today he lost his finger. He can no longer play guitar. It just makes me so sad. I cried a lot when I found out. I mean, he could have lost his leg and been fine. He could have even lost his pinkie finger or something... But no. It had to be his left index. I am so sad for him. I'm going to make him a cake tomorrow.
And my family is falling apart. They don't love each other, not like married couples should. Everything is so tense and I can see what a messed up group of people we are. We're all survivors of tragedies, strangers to each other. Yet we call ourselves a family. We share a home and food and income... And then on occasion we share a little bit of our souls. And we call it family. But hey, I guess you take what you can get. I'm a way better off than a lot of people.
I caught a glimpse of a little boy in my dad today. It made me want to hug him for the first time I can ever remember. He was so little and sad and vulnerable all of the sudden.... I do love him.
And my mother. My poor mother. Her heart is hardening from years of pain. I want to take it all away but I can't. I feel like I just add to it. I love her so, so, so much. More than anything in the world. And I hate seeing her broken like this. I wish I could fix her. God I wish I could fix her...
I am just so fucking scared. Absolutely petrified. I don't know what to do.
Posted by Alex at 6:24 PM