Friday, January 15, 2010

Letters
Dear Travis: I really wish I could have fixed you. I'm sorry about that night. Every day I see you I want to make it right. I feel so stupid. I've written about you a lot, all those times in geometry. Okay, that sounded stalker-ish. Point is, we had something. That sounded cliche, but again, that's off topic. I really fucking miss you and I'm just so so sorry about the whole damn thing...

Dear Zack: Your hand held on for that extra second and told me everything. You said you'd text me. You didn't. It keeps going on and off, back and forth. We met in an old, dark, falling-apart furniture factory. We threw light bulbs. I know what you said.. what you insisted... But I have a very hard time believing you. Don't take that the wrong way. I know about all the other girls. I hate that.. that I still think about you. That I get jealous when you talk to that barbie bitch. That I still want you. I shouldn't. We were nothing. We are nothing. It's precisely my disinterest that keeps you coming back..... Fuck you. ( And then you say, "you already did," and laugh. Yeah. I know. We're both damaged, but I still have a secret.)

Dear Wade: I hardly know you but I love you very much. You are a beautiful person and I wish society and Travis wouldn't get in the way. Keep making your music.

Dear Matt: Your soul makes me cry. I want you to know it wasn't just the alcohol that made me empathetic. I really can relate. You are worth so much more than what he thought. He's the one missing out... You can do anything. I have faith in you.

Dear Gaston: I think I love you..... I'll wait for your reaction.

Dear Dakota: You were horrible to me. But I didn't lie: you were the best relationship I'd ever had at the time. I hate that. It's sad. Stop talking to me. I don't care how bitchy that sounds. Leave. Oh, by the way, you calling me "fucking emo cutter" while we were dating was just one of the many ways you proved you didn't give a fuck you dick. (P.S.: we should have saved the poor bird.)

Dear Tyler P.: I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish we were still friends like we used to be. Do you realize that I went to the bathroom and cried after you looked at me like that? You are one of my best friends. You have to power to make me feel absolutely worthless or absolutely worth it. Why do you always choose the former? I miss you.

Dear Dylan A.: I'm really sorry about everything. I don't even know how to say it all.

Dear Dylan D.: You are so great. I love you. I just.. I wish we could be closer. It's really hard, being alone. Not that it's your fault, at all. But you're one of the few people who get me.

Dear Cody: I want you just so I can fuck you over. It'd be revenge. That's really stupid, right? But I felt like I was dying the other day. You wouldn't acknowledge me. I'm not sure why I expected you too. By the way, you got uglier.
I just remembered.. You told me I deserved a guy way better than you. Did you ever really mean that? Was it just reverse psychology? Because it certainly worked that way.

Dear Robert: I think I get it. I love you and the fact that we can talk for hours because of our lives. You get everything. I wish there were no laws against it. Really, I do. I feel way to young. We could make each other's pain worth it.

Dear Glasses Kid: I feel connected to you. I have since I first met you and you were scribbling in the margins of a poetry book. I'm sorry I can't remember your name.

Dear Brett: She stole you! She took my story and used it as hers! She used it to make you fall for her. You weren't supposed to... It was supposed to be me.... This song makes me want to cry. I think of you. Sometimes I think of that time at Moon Monkey. You sat with me and we listened to the guitars. You asked me if you could kiss me and I said no.. It was because of her. Really, I didn't owe her anything. It was just a formality. I wish I would have let you. We could have made music together. Dammit. That's how it always goes, though, right? I miss you.

Dear Tyler M.: It's not that I don't like it. However, you really need to choose.

Dear Glen: I'm sorry but I can't do it. It's way too stressful. I know it's not fair to you, but for once I'm going to take care of myself. Goodbye.

Dear Quinten: You are so dramatic. You're a sweet kid, but really, grow up and toughened up. The world is going to eat you alive. I admit I was unclear, which was unfair to you, but you were the one who went suicidal on me after one date. Jesus. I was a good lesson, I think. It's difficult but it has to happen. You'll find someone, I promise. You're still so young.

Dear Josh: Hindsight is twenty/twenty. I now know exactly what I should have done. I'm glad you two are back together, really. Good for you. I hope you guys work out. Make a high school love story come true.

Posted by Alex at 7:27 PM